Severance Vintage T-Shirt

At Lumon Industries, balancing work and life isn’t just a policy—it’s woven into our very fabric. Meet the unisex Work-Life Balance heavy cotton tee: a wardrobe staple designed for innies and outies alike. This shirt merges Lumon-approved professionalism with everyday comfort in a subtly satirical style that fans of Severance will appreciate. Whether you’re pulling a late shift in Macrodata Refinement or enjoying a free evening outside the office, this tee ensures your comfort remains uncompromised.

Key Features

Classic Fit & Staple Design: Classic unisex fit with a neat crew neckline offers a relaxed yet polished look. It’s a timeless style that fits in at any occasion — from a day in the office to a Lumon waffle party celebration. Truly a staple piece, as essential in your closet as Lumon’s employee handbook is on the severed floor.

Distraction-Free Comfort: No side seams means no itchy interruptions under the arms — nothing to break your concentration during meticulous Macrodata Refinement sessions. Plus, the tear-away label removes easily for a scratch-free experience, so you can stay focused on the task at hand (no wellness session required for a pesky tag!)

Built for Long Hauls: Taped shoulder seams and sturdy stitching provide improved durability and structure. This tee can handle long hours and overtime — it’s as resilient as any Lumon employee. Count on it to hold its shape and color through every corporate mandate or after-hours outing.

Breathable, All-Season Fabric: Medium-weight 5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²) fabric ensures breathable comfort in any season. Made from 100% cotton, it keeps you cozy when the office AC is cranked up and cool when you’re off duty. Heathered color options include a hint of polyester for extra durability — a blend as strategic as any Lumon initiative.

Ethical & Sustainable: Crafted with 100% U.S.-grown cotton that’s ethically harvested — a quality standard even Lumon’s board would applaud. The shirt’s manufacturer, Gildan, is a proud member of the U.S. Cotton Trust Protocol, ensuring sustainable practices from farm to finish. Feel confident knowing your tee is made responsibly — at Lumon, as in our shop, we care about the bigger picture.

Embrace a new kind of work-life balance with this clever, comfortable tee. After all, the only thing we won’t sever is your comfort